lavarhino.

I’ve been fuming.

After the loss of my hard won Place of Power, I’ve been flailing demands about, gathering up tribute.

Azriaz has been plumping up, like a pig before the slaughter. You can almost see the other fiends closing in, trying to be the first to rip off an arm.

Then there was that fight of champions. I sent my biggest, baddest elephant man into the ring, which bought him only defeat. If he wasn’t banished to the abyss, I would have sent him there myself upon his return.

I need to fight something to gain prestige, but everyone keeps giving in to my demands.

Ah well, at least the tribute is feeding my power.

Let me share with you cretins a little story.

So, I was coming back from another red tape meeting with the infernal conclave (and trust me, their company is labeled infernal at the best of times), wearing my best puppy tail tie and polished suit of armor when one of my lowly minions arrived with a small note.

The note detailed a minor revolt in some place of power or other. Reading closer, I realized that it was MY place of power. Turning to the miserable cretin whose clawed hand had proffered the offending  slip I asked, “Where the thrice-blessed were our forces? Weren’t they RIGHT BESIDE this Place of Power? Haven’t they been there since they took it?”

The wretch mumbled something, and I read more of the note.

“Wait, now AZHRIAZ owns it?”

And that was the story of how another of my lackeys lost his head.

Those miserable cretins of mine actually managed to do something right! I am now in possession of a Place of Power, although it is separated from my stronghold by a large and inconvenient chasm. If only I could build a large bridge, my holdings would not be so disparate.

I’ve sent off a demand to the slothful  Azhriaz. His stronghold looks tasty, like a bloody fruit. He will no doubt give in to my request for the honor of his tribute cards. I can taste them now, like the heart of a valiant soul being crushed between my teeth.

Sinister plots are so wonderful.

Some light-blessed Hellfiend closed the bazaar! My plans to purchase a means of power were delayed by just enough that the place of power to the south was captured by Qabal. It seems that my sluggish minions insist on always being a turn behind at everything.

Ah well, I have ordered them to capture the other place of power, walking around the chasm in order to arrive at it’s infernal walls. We shall see if they are fast enough *this* time.

The others have been quiet, but have started to insult each other in front of the council. Their petty bickering will no doubt grow as our unruled time increases. The council forced me to choose those of my dim-witted, light-blessed foes which were most and least worrysome to me.

We shall see if those I chose will live up to the small hope I have in them of approaching any level of threat to my absolute rule.

The following is an after action report of turns 1-5 of my game of Solium Infernum

My minions have brought me word that our fortress was positioned in an unfortunate location. How *DARE* they accuse me of choosing a poor seat of my ever expanding influence! If they would only perform to my satisfaction, they would realize that I sat us between two powerful Places of Power, much coveted by the others in our hellish realm.

Even with their mewling whimpers, I sent them forth to take the top Place of Power, the seductive Temple of Lust. For my misplaced trust, all they returned with were sorry stories of failure!

Did they not *realize* that failure has only granted this place to one of our more powerful neighbors?  Instead, they are now returning to my palace to lick their sorry wounds and pray for my forgiveness.

Pah! They will need more than licked wounds to garner my favor. We shall see what they can accomplish as endless time rolls forward.